My Most British Things

To the tune of “My Favourite Things” from The Sound of Music

Consulting detectives who say “elementary”

Knowing your place and deferring to gentry

Laughing at jokes that make you want to cringe

These are a few of the most British things

Tea at the Ritz and a Gregg’s Cornish pasty

LibDems being weak and Tories being nasty

Teaching pointless dates of old Queens and Kings

These are a few of the most British things

Shakespeare’s Globe and Geilgud at the Old Vic

Right wing newspapers being xenophobic

Paying your gas bill by pawning your bling

These are a few of the most British things

When Cameron talks, about values

Really makes me sad

Then I remember he’ll be gone next year

And things just don’t seem so bad....